копипаст с моего тумблерачестно, не стоит это открыватьоно весьма личное, хоть и непосредственно связанно с Мерлином. а еще там мой плохой английскийя предупреждалаI just can’t get over Merlin, and I don’t know if I ever will, because it hurts as hell. So I have this playlist with all these sad merthur songs and I can’t stop listening to them and crying. In fact, I’m crying since the end of the episode. Not 24/7 maybe, but close to it. I can’t eat, I haven’t eaten properly since Monday, and I’m a little bit worried about the fact that I don’t want to. This Saturday I was doing something I don’t want to write here about and it was pretty much reckless and dangerous, and it didn’t bother me at all. That’s bad. I also went to the forest and wandered there alone in the snowy trees, crying and breathing fresh air, and I felt a little bit better until I returned home. There are some moment when I feel like everything is pretty much fine but then I see or hear something that reminds me of Merlin and Arthur’s death and I just… break again. Because these boys have grown so much through this years, and… Damn, I can’t. I watched them grow. Now that I think about it, they were with me longer than almost (I said almost, yes) anyone else, and it hurts so much to see them like that. I never thought I’d watch my happiest OTP dying. Arthur died, and Merlin is probably thinking that this was his fault and that everything he had ever done was in vain, and he’s dead inside. And I’m dead inside too, because I feel like my best friend died and I can’t help it.